Tales Of Miss Scarlett

Archive for the month “March, 2012”

Mother tongue…please don’t forsake me?

“a weh yuh a go?”
I swung around in an exhausting blend of excitement, amusement and anxiety.
“I’m on my way to class” Dammit!! I forced a nervous smile desperately trying to hide my embarrassment and disappointment in my ability to link my thoughts and control my mouth to speak my mother tongue.
The war rages, the conflict continues….the battle between my current voice and my native dialect that is fighting to not be suffocated to the dimensions of my childhood memories.

Balance? Harmony!    thats all I seek.
NO not to belong. I have long ago let go of that jovial desire
But to assert!        ME
               and I 
                           in all its glorious, transcultural self.

Pieces of Me #2

#2: one of my biggest fears is that i may not be lovable

The Fixer Upper

“once we get married i’m sure he won’t go to strip clubs anymore”

“he’s cute but he is going to have to change that haircut”

“he’s ambitious, he just needs a good woman like me to give him that extra push”

Women are always looking for a “fixer upper” man. 
Maybe its hope that we will find the diamond in the rough.
Maybe its bragging rights to be able to say that we turned the bad boy into prince charming.
Or maybe its just our maternal instincts to take a man that is broken and bruised and nurture him.
Regardless of the reason/excuse we need to STOP!
We are only setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Instead we need to listen. Because the unfortunate truth is, these men no longer even have to lie to us anymore.
They can be bold and honest when they look us in the face and say: 
“I’m not looking for anything serious right now”

And we take that with our delusional self and twist it to something that is pleasing to our own ears, trying to make these men out to be something more complicated than they are when the truth is, they aren’t complicated at all.

No it does not mean that he is just scarred or that he just hasn’t met the right girl yet and that of course the right girl is you and he will become aware of that once you cook for him, roll weed for him and suck and fuck him like a champ! 

Men are not like houses. You can’t purchase one that is worthless thinking that you can fix him up and in the end flip him for a profit. Instead of looking for the bad boy to make into a good boy…what about you just look for a good guy from the start and save yourself the time, trouble and heartache.
* message to myself

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