I used to think that the hardest thing a person had to do was pretend that they were in love.
Then came the day I was told to pretend that I wasn’t.
This is more than an award….
it is one of those hugs you get from your favorite aunt,
where she squeezes you really tight and rubs your back,
as she pats you on the shoulder.
It is a hug that causes the feeling of love to pulsate through your body
with a tangibility that shatters any doubt you had allowed to creep in.
And with that, I would like to thank Arundhati Ail over at http://aruail.wordpress.com/ for the nomination.
So, what’s this award all about? You can call it Favorite Blog Award, as “Liebster” is a German word for beloved, or dearest. However, there is neither competition nor a jury. It is like a chain letter, or in this case, a “chain tag”, meant to help new, but talented bloggers with less than 200 followers to be discovered by the rest of the world.
To accept this award, all you have to do is:
1. Link back and recognize the blogger who nominated you (this would be me :))
2. Answer ten questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you (see the questions below).
3. Nominate 3-5 other bloggers with less than 200 followers for the award.
4. Create ten questions for your nominees to answer.
5. Notify your nominees the way you were notified.
Now its my turn to let you know about my favorite blogs that totally deserve a “Liebster” award:
1) Carla Moore Mooretalkja
Not only does she blogs but she is also a YouTube vlogger. To be honest, I’m a little bit (read as a lot) shy at the idea of posting on her blog…I am THAT star struck! She does everything, from poetry to serious commentary about Jamaica and politics to hilarious reviews of Scandal. You have to check her out!
2) Some Times I Stare At Strangers http://sometimesistareatstrangers.wordpress.com/
A beautiful blog written by a truly talented artist. She is passionate about a wide variety of topics and will make you passionate about it too. She recently visited Jordan and took amazing photos and her posts about feminism *sigh*…mind blowing!
3) Ramblings to A Soulmate http://amandlovu.wordpress.com/
Truly talented writer. She has a sense of humor that shines through her writing. Her words are a pleasure to read. Only a few post post so far but I can tell she is one to watch.
My 10 questions:
Here are my answers to the questions I was asked:
1.How and when did you decide to create a blog?
I had created a blog just for fun but I never really posted anything.
Not until I had gone through one of THE worst breakups
& had exhausted my shrinks (dear friends) with my drama,
that they encouraged me to write down my feelings,
hoping it will help me sort out my feelings regarding the heart-breaker.
Funny thing is…I’ve never actually written anything about him.
2.What do you write/like writing about the most?
I only write and post on my blog when I feel truly inspired.
That is why there isn’t any set day or time span to which I post.
3.Other than blogging, what do you enjoy doing?
There isn’t a specific activity. Just enjoy spending time with my loved ones.
They can make any ordinary task memorable.
4.What is your favourite book/books?
The Bible. I mean talk about a book that has everything!
Romance, betrayal, horror, tragedy…
it has EVERYTHING!
5.What is your favourite quote?
As a person who has a folder on her laptop dedicated solely to the purpose
of all the quotes that she has seen and saved…
please don’t make me choose?!
6.Describe yourself in one word.
7.Given a chance, what would you change about yourself?
I would increase my faith.
8.What talent,other than writing, would you have wished to be born with?
I wish I could sing.
9.What was your childhood dream and has it come true?
That is a complicated question with a complex answer.
But in short: it depends on the day.
I think I might have to create a blog post about it.
10.Do you see yourself continuing to blog in the future? Why?
Blogging is an outlet.
I post the things I want to scream to the world.
But that I’m too afraid to let the people in my life know I feel.
And I think there will always be things that I’m afraid to say out loud.
And I don’t think that is necessary a bad thing.
Lately,I’ve been seeing a lot of articles about how awesome introverts are
and hilarious commentary about the problems introverts face.
Now I think that it is well fine and dandy. I mean hooray for the exposure this underrated group is getting.
The more people understand the group, the more accepting people will be
of their quirks and they will no longer be labelled names like
But what I have been noticing in these articles and in the comment sections, is a superiority tone.
It may be subtle (i mean they are introverts…can’t expect bold 😛 ) but it is there.
Comments that suggest that because they enjoy being by themselves…
that they therefore love themselves more than extroverts.
because they spend more time in their heads….
it means that they are “deeper thinkers.”
because they might read more books…
it means that they are more intelligent.
As someone who have been labelled an introvert for most of my life but who has become a self proclaimed Ambivert (don’t know what it is? Google it!)…..I’m beyond tired of the debate and the judgement that seems to come along with it. Neither trait trumps the other!
And instead of these new articles taking on a fresh angle…
they resort to the same old playground games of screaming that
“I’m better than you na na na boo boo” crap!
Being an introvert simply means, that individual gets energy from within
while an extrovert gets energy from a stimulating environment.
They both can make excellent leaders,
amazing friends and both be
I mean c’mon!
No need to put another person down
to feel good about yourself.
In the wee hours of the morning, I got a text message from one of my ex.
It was full of his hopes:
He hoped I did not hate him.
He hoped we could one day be friends
I was polite and I was nice.
I relieved him of his guilt.
I assured him”It was all good”
I did what ‘cool’ chicks do.
And what I did was wrong.
Too many texts from too many exes.
They have regrets and bags of “I’m sorry”
But an apology in hindsight, doesn’t make it alright.
Doing what he should have done, when he was ACTUALLY my man
Would have been better than
A late night text message full of his hopes:
He hopes I do not hate him.
He hopes we can one day be friends.
I saw this somewhere and loved it so much I thought I would share…
#MyWednesdayConfession: I miss kisses on the forehead. Arms that are strong enough to bear the weight of the world (or at least that’s how strong they feel to me). A dent in the pillow next to me. Romance, and butterflies and breathless anticipation. I miss being kissed until I forget my argument. I miss hearing, “I’ll help you.” “I got you.” and my personal favorite, “Don’t worry about it; I’ll take care of it.” I miss feeding someone. And hugging someone. And being teased about how anal I am about clutter and how I probably have a touch of OCD, lol.
The irony of all of this- my ex wasn’t these things. He wasn’t romantic, or very affectionate- or helpful. He certainly never shouldered any weight for me. But I miss those things. I miss everything they tell you real love is going to be. I miss what I thought we would be.
Lesson of the Day- they say you can’t miss what you never had… “they” are wrong… sometimes you can.
by: Shameka Erby
Teasing and playful wrestling.
Driving in silence.
Listening to a song that was clearly written about my for love you and your love for me.
Falling asleep in a position that I know will hurt my neck and your arm but not caring.
Midday smiley face text.
Falling asleep on the phone but refusing to hang up.
See what we have is more than sex. It’s intimacy at its best.
No fighting it. No changing it.
I’m in love with you. You’re in love with me.
When I say i’m in love with you it means that you are the first person I think about when I hear a funny joke or see a funny video on YouTube.
It means that when I lay awake at nights in my insomniac state, you are the main topic i’m thinking of. Well the two of us and your smile in particular.
When I say i’m in love with you, it means that when i’m having a not so good day or even a moment, a extra long embrace from you is all I desire. You know…where my head snuggles comfortably on your collar bone and where my nose is strategically place to maximize the smell of your cologne? Yea that one.
It means that I love how we have to sleep snuggled closely to each other because I always steal the covers. Even when i’m sleeping, i’m trying to be close to you.
When I say i’m in love with you it means that in everything I daydream about the future, from graduations to vacations and to my best friend’s wedding, I imagine you being right there beside me.
And in all my sexual fantasies, you are the featured star.
When I say i’m in love with you it means that I find myself wanting to do all that traditional woman stuff like cook you dinner, do your laundry, make the house sparkly clean and oh yea bare your children. Let you open doors for me and always let you be the driver. And if being in love with you means silencing my raging feminist side…i’m cool with it and that’s love!
When I say i’m in love with you..its me telling you that i’m all in.
Because I am you know? And always will be.
It happens to ALL of us.
To some it was a surprise, to others it was a long awaited day.
It may be met with feelings of excitement, shame, confusion and fear.
For me it meant I was finally becoming a Woman.
Of course i’m talking about the day I first got my menstrual cycle.
My niece just experience this recently and it got me and my sister talking about our experiences.
It was the April before my 11th birthday and I was up late one night with my brother and my older female cousin.
I was wearing a white underwear and one of my dad’s old t-shirts.
YUP i remember a lot of details about that night. I was so excited. It was like a confirmation that I was now a big girl 🙂
By that time I had already been wearing a bra and I was taller than most of my grown female cousins. Like most young girls…I just wanted to be older.
It wasn’t a surprise to me. My mom had suspected it was coming soon so she and my aunt had the talk with me about what to expect. I remember my aunt showing me how to put on a pad and then she even gave me my own pack. I guess this explains my own feelings of responsibility of informing my niece of the need-to-know stuff.
See for me this day was a positive experience and I believe it shaped my overall openness and how comfortable I am with matters such as sex and my body.
All too often this day is met by many with uncertainty, surprise and embarrassment because they were never informed. Many of these women then unfortunately look at their periods as The Curse that is to be dreaded every month. They fail to realize the amazing mechanics behind it and that it means that they are now physically (though absolutely not mentally or emotionally) ready to bring forth life and that one day they will be able to bare that miracle.
As a result of open communication about it, my niece had a look of excitement on her face when she shared her special news. She was fully prepared and was not scared or embarrassed. Me and my sister even made it extra special by creating a gift bag full of girly goodies such as nail polishes, lip gloss and teen magazines.
Do you remember your first period?
So it turns out…i’m not perfect lol
I have to take responsibility for my part in the failure of my previous relationships
and more importantly…the part I played in my heart being broken.
So I took a hard look at myself and my actions, plus took into consideration complaints I have heard from previous partners and I compiled a list of my relationship flaws.
Admittance is the first step to recovery!
I would encourage everyone to take some time and come up with their own list.
I have a fear of dating.
I am no good at it and I fear and hate things that I am no good at.
I have come to accept that dating is really like going on an interview. You get asked similar questions like
“Tell me a about yourself?”
“Where do you see yourself in the future?”
and while this might not be a question asked out right, it is one that is expected to be answered by the end of the date ” What can you bring to this relationship?” Essentially you are selling yourself and I am no good at that. Hence why the scariest thing to me about graduating from college, is the fact that I will have to go on interviews for jobs.
The entire process is nerve wrecking for me. I never have the right answers to those questions. I get quiet, shy, forget to smile and don’t let my personality show. Apparently all of which is a no no when it comes to having a successful date (and interview)
So at this point, i’m contemplating having prepared and approved answers going into my next date. This way I can respond in a witty way that answers the question while displaying my playful side. Something that is completely non threatening seeing that apparently I come across as being too strong and too intellectual.
No I’m not talking about dumbing myself down or changing who I am as a person. But improving my dating skills. And to me that includes being mindful of how I come across to other people and seeing where I can make adjustment. Because of course…I have many flaws!
Hopefully with practice, I’ll be able to iron out my dating technique.