Tales Of Miss Scarlett

Archive for the tag “life”

The Art of Becoming a Swan

The 4th grade diva!

In the fourth grade I heard on Oprah (yes I was addicted to Oprah at the age of 9) that when you think of yourself a certain way, others would then see you in that light. Or at least… it was some advice along those line. I became determined to test the theory. Truly, I just wanted to see if thinking of myself as pretty for a few days would cause my class crush to find me irresistible. So the next day I walked into class confident and telling myself that I was the best thing since slice bread. And guess what? It worked! Not only did my crush spend lunch time playing with me, but multiple other boys complimented me in one way or the other 🙂

My point?

Recently I’ve been thinking about how my self-perception has changed over the past few years, especially since my teenage years. Growing up I always felt odd around others my age.  I was too tall, with a waistline too big, gigantic boobs  and ass that often got inappropriate response from grown men. I had acne that was so severe adults would stare. Needless to say, my self-esteem was very low. But now at the age of 26, my friends would chuckle at the idea of a low self esteem version of me. They often tease me for being too vain and over confident! Little do many people know, that my sometimes boastful expressions and confidence are often just tools in helping me to build my self esteem. Its utilizing that theory I heard on Oprah all those years ago. Before anyone else can see my beauty, I must first see it myself. Everyone has beautiful qualities…some are internal and others are external. Thinking of myself in a positive way helps me to not be afraid to show others what I have to offer.

My hope is that everyone reading this will be brave enough to test this theory. Love yourself boldly and watch how the world falls in love with you.

Advertisements

God is like a ride or die friend

In 2013 I started a Blessings Jar.

The idea was that throughout the year, I would write lil notes of blessings that I had experienced and at the end of the year…open the jar and review all my blessings.

2013 was an overwhelming year for me!

I traveled A LOT and I graduated with my undergraduate degree which is something I fought hard for. But I also had deep low points in my life and tremendous heart break….

…and in the midst of it all, I stopped writing notes for the jar and never reviewed it.

But today I decided to take a look and these are a few notes I found:

01/16/2013 After days of self pity and bad anxiety and

sleepless nights and putting myself more in debt…I paid my tuition.

MY FINAL TUITION!

Somehow I made it. Not just the payment but through college.

God has never left me!

01/18/2013 I went to see the resume doctor on campus & she was impressed with my resume. It got me thinking how God planned everything out in a way that even though I often complain about not getting jobs on campus or being broke; the job I did get is an amazing addition to my career goals. Everything that he allowed me to do is beneficial in the long run. Once again proving, that he has plans for me & they are better than any plan I could make for myself. I am blessed!

01/20/2013: Despite being undeserving, God shows His mercies.

I told a lie and I made mistakes and in an attempt to cover those up,

I just made more mistakes.

But God is like that ride or die friend that sees you struggling &helps you out.

He is like having a parent that sees their child doing wrong

but understands their heart & gives them a pass. I am blessed!

Even though we are half way through the first month of the year…it is not too late. A blessings jar is great way to count your blessings. At the very least, it gives us time to reflect on how favored we are. And when you do review the jar…whether it be monthly, at the end of the year or a decade from now…you will feel amazed!

#loveyourlines

I matured fast!

At least that’s what I was told all my life and therefore what I reiterated to others

but mostly to myself

whenever I started staring at what looked like war wounds/claw marks/tiger stripes all over my body.

STRETCH MARKS

like finger prints; they grip my hips, clasp my ass and fondle my bosoms!

I matured fast!

my hormones raged, tectonic plates crashed together & my mountains formed in the north & south faster than my skin could keep up.

STRETCH MARKS

DON’T justify them.

DON’T hide them.

DON’T be ashamed of them.

DO love them.

STRETCH MARKS

proof that you transformed from a girl into a woman.

child bearing hips, nurturing bosoms and buttocks just for the heck it.

like blue prints; they show him where to grip my hips, clasp my ass and fondle my bosoms!

#loveyourlines

*post was inspired by the #loveyourlines movement on instagram

The Soulmate Quote

Soul mate.

Two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart and your dream house. All you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn’t work out, does that mean they weren’t your soul mate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this game show called “Happily Ever After”? And, as you move from age box to age box and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less?

Soul mates: reality or torture device?

sex and the city 

the “…just because it’s Valentine’s Day” post

With Valentine’s Day being only a few short days away,
I thought I would share some romantic quotes that I found. Some are a lil cheesy
…but that’s not always a bad thing lol

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’” –Shall We Dance?

“No. No, you can’t… STOP. Please don’t go away. Please? No one’s ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave… if you leave… I just, I remember things better with you. I do, look. P. Sherman, forty-two… forty-two… I remember it, I do. It’s there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I… and I’m home. Please… I don’t want that to go away. I don’t want to forget.” –Finding Nemo

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” –The Fellowship of the Ring

“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.” -Roy Croft

“Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame.” -Henry David Thoreau

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire.” -Jeremy Taylor

From: Me and My Loves
To:  You and Yours

Happy Valentine’s Day

**p.s the first quote was probably my fav

Fresh Start and Assurances

but then he said

Yes! I have a past. I’ve been in love, I’ve had fuck buddies, girlfriends and “I probably shouldn’t have done that” moments. I come with baggage. There is nothing I can do to change that. In fact, I’d be lying if I told you I regret it. But I can tell you this; I’m in love with you. I want you.  And even though I have history with these females, I’m committed to building a future with you. Let’s move forward together.

….and it made it all better.

Warning: I sleep with all my friends

He was tall, well built and handsome. 

He once lived in London and with that in common we shared a nice conversation that lasted about 10 minutes.

I was warm, full of smiles, extremely friendly.

No I did not flirt with him. That is a fact I am certain of. Because just a few minutes before, when he unexpectedly knocked on the front door, he interrupted my make out session with the owner of the apartment we were in: his friend.

Both men walked me to my car. I was embarrassed at the idea of this stranger knowing what I was up to and the conversation the two might have in my absence. But I was also a little disappointed that my make out session had ended abruptly. Still I smiled and waved politely as I drove off.

A few days later I got a call from an unknown number. It was the tall, well built and handsome guy from the night before. He got my number from ‘our’ friend because it was obvious to him that I liked him. He then continued with the weirdest conversation I have perhaps ever had with someone. He insisted that we should be friends and that I verbally accept his friend request. It was strange but I didn’t want to be too impolite so I responded with

“Friendships are something that develop over time but you seem like a nice guy so we will see…”

I guess it was enough for him because he continued that if we were to be friends, I would have to promise never to call him after 10pm.

His reason?

He is in fact a married man and his wife gets very jealous of his female friends and

always checks his phone when he is home.

At this point, it became obvious that something was wrong with this guy. But before I could get off the phone…

he got even weirder.

He wanted to give me fair warning that he “always sleeps with his female friends”

As you can imagine, I was pretty taken back. In hindsight I should have just hung up the phone but instead I tried to make it clear to him that I had no intentions of sleeping with him. He chuckled because he heard what I was saying but still wanted to let me know what ‘tends’ to happen.

The audacity!

But also, I couldn’t help but me astonished. I mean I have heard of ‘game’ and thought I had seen every play in the book  but THIS one, I didn’t even see coming.

Needless to say, I hung up the phone.

But my question is, do women actually fall for that?

I can only assume it would not be in his playbook if it had not garnered him some level of success…

Reasons I Should Have Not Given Him My Number

  1. He described me as Hot. Not beautiful
  2. He stunk of cigarettes. Not the ‘i’ve smoked a few smell, but the ‘my clothes haven’t been washed in weeks so the stench is now drenched in the fabric’ smell
  3. His first question to me was “You ain’t married right?” Now if I can overlook the grammar, I shouldn’t have overlooked the possible projection
  4. He was wearing a long gold chain. In the grocery store. On a Sunday afternoon.
  5. His first text to me was “WYD” He couldn’t even type a proper sentence. He couldn’t even have included the question mark.

Always remember….you’re Liebster!

liebsterblog

This is more than an award….

it is one of those hugs you get from your favorite aunt,

where she squeezes you really tight and rubs your back,

as she pats you on the shoulder.

It is a hug that causes the feeling of love to pulsate through your body

with a tangibility that shatters any doubt you had allowed to creep in.

And with that, I would like to thank Arundhati Ail over at http://aruail.wordpress.com/  for the nomination.

So, what’s this award all about? You can call it Favorite Blog Award, as “Liebster” is a German word for beloved, or dearest. However, there is neither competition nor a jury. It is like a chain letter, or in this case, a “chain tag”, meant to help new, but talented bloggers with less than 200 followers to be discovered by the rest of the world.

To accept this award, all you have to do is:

1.  Link back and recognize the blogger who nominated you (this would be me :))
2.  Answer ten questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you (see the questions below).
3.  Nominate 3-5 other bloggers with less than 200 followers for the award.
4.  Create ten questions for your nominees to answer.
5.  Notify your nominees the way you were notified.

Now its my turn to let you know about my favorite blogs that totally deserve a “Liebster” award:

1) Carla Moore Mooretalkja

Not only does she blogs but she is also a YouTube vlogger. To be honest, I’m a little bit (read as a lot) shy at the idea of posting on her blog…I am THAT star struck! She does everything, from poetry to serious commentary about Jamaica and politics to hilarious reviews of Scandal. You have to check her out!

2) Some Times I Stare At Strangers http://sometimesistareatstrangers.wordpress.com/

A beautiful blog written by a truly talented artist. She is passionate about a wide variety of topics and will make you passionate about it too. She recently visited Jordan and took amazing photos and her posts about feminism *sigh*…mind blowing!

3) Ramblings to A Soulmate http://amandlovu.wordpress.com/

Truly talented writer. She has a sense of humor that shines through her writing. Her words are a pleasure to read. Only a few post post so far but I can tell she is one to watch.

My 10 questions:

  1. Why do you blog?
  2. Out of all the post that you have published, what is your favorite?
  3. Describe your blog in 3 words:
  4. What is the overall goal for your blog?
  5. List 1 thing you would like your followers to know about you.
  6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
  7. What is your favorite quote or proverb?
  8. If you could ask God 1 question, what would it be?
  9. If you could change 1 thing about this world, what would it be?
  10. Have you ever been in love? (wouldn’t be me if I didn’t ask a question regarding affairs of the heart ;))

Here are my answers to the questions I was asked:

1.How and when did you decide to create a blog?

I had created a blog just for fun but I never really posted anything.

Not until I had gone through one of THE worst breakups

& had exhausted my shrinks (dear friends) with my drama,

that they encouraged me to write down my feelings, 

hoping it will help me sort out my feelings regarding the heart-breaker.

Funny thing is…I’ve never actually written anything about him.

2.What do you write/like writing about the most?

I only write and post on my blog when I feel truly inspired.

That is why there isn’t any set day or time span to which I post.

3.Other than blogging, what do you enjoy doing?

There isn’t a specific activity. Just enjoy spending time with my loved ones.

They can make any ordinary task memorable.

4.What is your favourite book/books?

The Bible. I mean talk about a book that has everything!

Romance, betrayal, horror, tragedy…

it has EVERYTHING!

5.What is your favourite quote?

As a person who has a folder on her laptop dedicated solely to the purpose 

of all the quotes that she has seen and saved…

I beg,

please don’t make me choose?!

6.Describe yourself in one word.

Anomaly

7.Given a chance, what would you change about yourself?

I would increase my faith.

8.What talent,other than writing, would you have wished to be born with?

I wish I could sing.

9.What was your childhood dream and has it come true?

That is a complicated question with a complex answer.

But in short: it depends on the day.

I think I might have to create a blog post about it.

10.Do you see yourself continuing to blog in the future? Why?

Yes!

Blogging is an outlet.

I post  the things I want to scream to the world.

But that I’m too afraid to let the people in my life know I feel.

And I think there will always be things that I’m afraid to say out loud.

And I don’t think that is necessary a bad thing.

Dear Introverts & Extroverts,

Lately,I’ve been seeing a lot of articles about how awesome introverts are

and hilarious commentary about the problems introverts face.

Now I think that it is well fine and dandy. I mean hooray for the exposure this underrated group is getting.

The more people understand the group, the more accepting people will be

of their quirks and they will no longer be labelled names like

“anti-social”

“stuck up”

 “weird”

But what I have been noticing in these articles and in the comment sections, is a superiority tone.

It may be subtle (i mean they are introverts…can’t expect bold 😛 ) but it is there.

Comments that suggest that because they enjoy being by themselves…

that they therefore love themselves more than extroverts.

Or

because they spend more time in their heads….

it means that they are “deeper thinkers.”

Or

because they might read more books…

it means that they are more intelligent.

NO! STOP IT!

As someone who have been labelled an introvert for most of my life but who has become a self proclaimed Ambivert (don’t know what it is? Google it!)…..I’m beyond tired of the debate and the judgement that seems to come along with it. Neither trait trumps the other!

And instead of these new articles taking on a fresh angle…

they resort to the same old playground games of screaming that

“I’m better than you na na na boo boo” crap!

Being an introvert simply means, that individual gets energy from within

while an extrovert gets energy from a stimulating environment.

They both can make excellent leaders,

amazing friends and both be

outstandingly intelligent. 

I mean c’mon!

No need to put another person down

to feel good about yourself.

Post Navigation