Worst Date Ever: Hurt People, Hurt People

On a past date that I will forever classify as the WORST DATE EVER and that I  personally refer to as ‘date with that guy who threatened to throw acid in my face‘ I was slewed with a plethora of insults and attempts at defaming my character.

I may at some point make an entire post dedicated to the horror that was that date. But for today, I want to focus on his accusations that I was:

                             stuck up

vain and…..

self-entitled                

Now granted, much thought shouldn’t be given to the ramblings of a crazy man. But I was particular intrigued by the fact that these false assumptions of my character were all formed based on my physical appearance.

See throughout the date there was constant references to my ‘pretty face.’ And even when he threatened to assault me with acid..it was promised to be thrown specifically in my face. And even when he said he would show up at my apartment and beat the crap out of me…it was particularly so he could ‘fuck up my face.’ But what was especially telling was when he described himself. He was absolutely certain my rejection of his offer to move in with him (yes this was the FIRST date) or at the very least allow him to perform cunnilingus, was all due to the fact that he was a vertically challenged dark-hued man (ie short and extremely dark-skin) I found this accusation to be amusing because 95% of the guys I’ve had a crush on or dated since kindergarten have been of a darker pigment.  Probably due to my love for my father who is also of a darker complexion and my quest to find a husband that matches his hero like quality.

My thing is…this ‘man’ immediately assumed that my repulsion of him had everything to do with the fact that I thought I was too pretty for him AND nothing to do with the fact that he acted like an ass the entire date and simply put…nothing about him was impressive.

This date was a classic example of how someone’s perception of you, says way more about them than actually of you. His perception of me was directly related to how he viewed himself and the things he obviously hated about himself. This, my lovely readers, is why I encourage everyone to take some time to explore and fall in love with them themselves first before entering the dating world. Developing self-worth and self-love is the first step in building a solid foundation for a successful love life.

What stories do y’all have about your worst dates?

The Art of Becoming a Swan

The 4th grade diva!

In the fourth grade I heard on Oprah (yes I was addicted to Oprah at the age of 9) that when you think of yourself a certain way, others would then see you in that light. Or at least… it was some advice along those line. I became determined to test the theory. Truly, I just wanted to see if thinking of myself as pretty for a few days would cause my class crush to find me irresistible. So the next day I walked into class confident and telling myself that I was the best thing since slice bread. And guess what? It worked! Not only did my crush spend lunch time playing with me, but multiple other boys complimented me in one way or the other 🙂

My point?

Recently I’ve been thinking about how my self-perception has changed over the past few years, especially since my teenage years. Growing up I always felt odd around others my age.  I was too tall, with a waistline too big, gigantic boobs  and ass that often got inappropriate response from grown men. I had acne that was so severe adults would stare. Needless to say, my self-esteem was very low. But now at the age of 26, my friends would chuckle at the idea of a low self esteem version of me. They often tease me for being too vain and over confident! Little do many people know, that my sometimes boastful expressions and confidence are often just tools in helping me to build my self esteem. Its utilizing that theory I heard on Oprah all those years ago. Before anyone else can see my beauty, I must first see it myself. Everyone has beautiful qualities…some are internal and others are external. Thinking of myself in a positive way helps me to not be afraid to show others what I have to offer.

My hope is that everyone reading this will be brave enough to test this theory. Love yourself boldly and watch how the world falls in love with you.